Due to the changes in our kids' ideas of what is a good idea or a "challenge," I must apologize for bringing my boys up to not be morons. Who knew that to be popular you had to eat soap instead of getting off your ass and washing your laundry.
And who knew that sucking a frickin condom up your nose would prevent pregnancy?
So this isn't necessarily out to the kids who are just being retarded, but to the parents who do not take the time to WATCH your f....... kids and make sure they aren't growing up to f........stupid as shit. Seriously folks???
So hear me out:
1. Don't bitch when the laundry doesn't get done.
2. Don't preach in front of planned parenthood when the condom they were going to use is now covered in a different kind of mucus.
3. Pay attention.
4. This is OUR future. OUR next president, next senator. OUR next doctors, lawyers, convenience store managers, and city workers.
5. Sit down with your kids. Put the cell phone away. Show them how to do PPMDAS (bonus if you can actually remember what that is.)
6. TEACH THEM HOW TO SIGN THEIR NAMES!!!! (Bonus if you can actually legibly sign yours as well.)
My apologies for my language in advance...