And to all of you happy readers who enjoy a great laugh. I appreciate every reader! And please, if you are anywhere near familiar from this, feel free to comment. I only ask you keep it modestly clean. Kids read this blog too!
My wife and I were discussing the joys that we miss from being back in Florida. Though we would NEVER move back (no offense to all of my friends), there are indeed a few things that are definite and very well defined in our minds that we miss.
#1 The COOK OUTS!!!!!!
If you know us, you know the cook outs. It never seemed to fail that no matter how quiet we would try to keep it, everyone in town just absolutely KNEW when wwe fired that grill up. And honestly, we really didn't mind. We're talking grilled steaks, catfish, fried shrimp, pounds upon pounds of potato salad, rolls, and A LOT of liquor.....
Lots and lots of liquor. Our oldest came up to us one night and said, "Mom, I love it when you get drunk. You never say no!"
Mmmm-hmmmm, that's what he thought. Till we explained to him that at some point, someone was videoing the party. We WOULD know!!!!!
And normally, reverse the verdict.
I remember distinctly one night of falling off the floor. Nay, not falling, dropping with a heavy force of gravity and drunken stupor that can only be enticed by strong shots of straight burbon, preferably straight from the bottle with a nipple on top. (You know who you are that wondrous November evening).
I also remember a certain birthday party where I woke up with cake embedded in my high heels, belt loops, and hair. What I don't remember is what ll I drank. I only remember throwing away enough bottles f empty liquor to open my own spirits store. For those of my friends who were there for that one, you remember the Strawberry Shortcake decorations.........
Then there was the hair dying party. WARNING: It is not advisable to go buy hair dye when you are highly intoxicated and can't differ between blonde and red. Luckily, I was not the one getting dyed, and thank goodness for that. But I remember not answering my phone for at least 3 days and hiding whenever someone particular person would come over, laughing in my secret hiding place as I looked on.......
And the football parties. Those were absolutely evil. And if anyone ever comes into my house and changes football over to NASCAR again, they will be shot, with a wooden spoon, on sight. (You know who you are too, and I love you just the same.)
*****Please note that I am not mentioning names*****
This is to protect my innocence.
And those of you who are laughing hystereically about that last comment, yeah you know it baby!!!
I miss our parties. The whole town would show up out of nowhere, suddenly there. Coolers came in chocked full with ice cold coolers and beer. They ALWAYS left empty. When we would come back from fishing, you bet we had neighborhood kids piled up at our house, ready to bite into the only fish they would ever eat.
Yep, and being from Florida, nine times out of ten, that was shark meat.
I hate to admit this, but by the end of last summer, I really did begin to miss the 50 bazillion kids running in and out of my house. At any given time, there was at least 9-15 kids in my house, day and night. I had more phone numbers for parents than the PTA did. I could find any one house of these kids in the dark without my headlights working and knew every parent by name, face, car, and if plausible, social security number (JUST KIDDING).
I think that if I would have run for superintendent of the schools, and kids were allowed to vote, I would have made the cut. Not because they knew me, or thought I was fair. But because of the words I miss hearing, and so does my wife:
"Man you got a cool mom!"
The Mystery Diva of Nevada